WAYNE'S WORD Hippo Staff
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A Brief History Of The Hippo
Staff at WAYNE'S WORD

  • A History Of WAYNE'S WORD And The Hippo Staff
  • See Portrait Of The WAYNE'S WORD Hippo Family
  • See Photo Of Hipper, Assistant Editor At Wayne's Word
  • See A Flow Chart Of All Known Progeny Of HYPPO
  • See History Of WAYNE'S WORD Crossword Puzzle
  • Dichotomous Key To WAYNE'S WORD Hippo Family

    • A History Of WAYNE'S WORD And The Hippo Staff

    Mr. WOLFFIA (also known as Wayne) is a community college biology teacher and naturalist. His pen name of Mr. WOLFFIA has no biological connection with the large carnivorous mammal called a wolf. It is also not to be confused with the aardvark, a strange African burrowing mammal and the first word in the English dictionary. The pen name actually comes from his favorite plant called "wolffia," the world's smallest flowering plant that produces the world's smallest fruit. In fact, a bouquet of a dozen wolffia plants in full bloom will easily fit on the head of a pin, and the fruits are as small as salt grains. Wolffia plants are truly one of the wonders of the plant kingdom.

    See Straight Pin & Sewing Needle Used In Wayne's Word Articles

    See World's Smallest Flowering Plant
    See The World's Smallest Fruit

    The registered name WAYNE'S WORD® comes from Mr. WOLFFIA's given name of Wayne, the name that his father and mother gave to him at birth. It is not to be confused with the comedy movie called Wayne's World. Although there are several WAYNE'S WORDs on the Internet, this one is officially registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office. The name is a registered trademark so it displays an ® (an "R" with a circle around it).

    Mr. WOLFFIA is very fond of hippos (his favorite animal). In the early 1990's, Wayne's Word was a printed newsletter sent out to friends and colleagues. Although it contained bonified natural history articles, it also contained humorous, satirical articles that probably make sense to his close friends and colleagues. One case in point is the apparent fondness of Wayne and his fictitious hippo friends described in the following paragraphs:

    "Mr. Wolffia lives with four unemployed hippo brothers, their half brother and their father, none of whom can find a job anywhere. HARPPER and HYPPER are stool custodians who keep the WAYNE'S WORD office clean and tidy. HARPPO and HYPPI are mailroom assistants who help in the production and mailing of WAYNE'S WORD. The four brothers have the same mother (HARPPA) who currently resides in Oregon with their fifth brother HIPPI and their two sisters HIPPA and HYPPA."

    "A remarkable half brother named HIPPER joined the WAYNE'S WORD staff in 1993. He has a BS Degree in Computer Science from San Francisco State University. His computer skills have been invaluable in getting WAYNE'S WORD on the fabulous Internet superhighway called the World Wide Web. Although he is only a small hippo, he is well versed in many computer programs and languages, including Adobe Photoshop, Java and HTML. HIPPER is actually related to the four hippo brothers at WAYNE'S WORD through their common father HYPPO. Although he has the same father, he has a different mother named HIPPRA who lives in South Africa. HIPPER's half brothers HARPPER, HYPPER, HARPPO and HYPPI are jealous of his promotion to assistant editor, but they just don't have the educational background and computer skills for this position."

    A WAYNE'S WORD Portrait Of The Happy Hippo Family

    Family portrait of all members of hippo family in the United States.

    Hipper, the "assistant editor" at Wayne's Word

    Mates And Progeny Of Hyppo

    The two mates and all known descendants of HYPPO.

    A Crossword Puzzle To Review The History Of
    The WAYNE'S WORD® Hippo Family

    Across Clues:

    2. Hippo mother who lives in Oregon with her son & 2 daughters. [2 A's in name.]
    5. HIPPER's mother who lives in Africa.
    6. College web site where you can see WAYNE'S WORD on the Internet.
    7. HIPPER's assistant position on the WAYNE'S WORD staff.
    9. Total number of hippo boys on the WAYNE'S WORD staff.
    11. Number of hippos in WAYNE'S WORD hippo family that live in Africa.
    13. Total number of hippos in WAYNE'S WORD hippo family living in the U.S.
    14. One of the stool custodians at WAYNE'S WORD.
    15. Hippo father who lives with Mr. WOLFFIA. [One Y and one O in name.]
    16. Mr. WOLFFIA's given name.
    18. One of the hippo daughters who lives in Oregon. [One I and one A in name.]
    20. Another son of HARPPA who lives in Oregon. [2 I's in name.]
    21. An even number one less than nine.
    23. Burrowing African mammal--the first word in most English dictionaries.

    Down Clues

    1. Number of stool custodians & mailroom assistants on WAYNE'S WORD staff.
    2. One of the stool custodians at WAYNE'S WORD. [One Y in name.]
    3. The assistant editor of WAYNE'S WORD. [One I in name.]
    4. Mr. WOLFFIA's pen name and his favorite plant.
    5. One of the mailroom assistants at WAYNE'S WORD.
    8. Total number of female hippos living in Oregon.
    10. State where HIPPI lives with his mother HARPPA.
    12. An odd number one less than ten.
    14. One of the two mailroom assistants at WAYNE'S WORD. [One Y in name.]
    15. Mr. WOLFFIA's favorite animal. [One I and one O.]
    17. Country where HIPPER's mother lives.
    18. One of HIPPER's half sisters who lives in Oregon. [One Y in name.]
    19. Total number of hippos living at WAYNE'S WORD with Mr. WOLFFIA.
    22. Total number of hippo girls in the hippo family. [They both live in oregon.]

    Dichotomous Key To All Members Of The WAYNE'S WORD
    Hippo Family Residing In The Continental United States.

    This dichotomous key is the type used in many plant and animal identification manuals. The two contrasting choices (paired couplets) always appear together [i.e. 1a & 1b, 2a & 2b, etc.]. The numbers in parentheses (in red) indicate the previous choice where you came from [i.e. if you are on 2A, then you came from (1a)].

    1a. Body large, over 30 cm in length.
    .................................................................................................Go to 2a

    1b. Body small, less than 20 cm in length
    .................................................................................................Go to 3a

    2a. (1a) Right ear bent outwardly, left ear erect; face asymmetrical with thicker lips; right rib cage pooched out (herniated); left rear leg lame and not touching ground; with obvious male urogenital characteristics.
    .................................................................................................HYPPO

    2b. (2a) Right ear erect, left ear more or less rotated counterclockwise; face more symmetrical with thinner lips; right rib cage not herniated; right rear leg lame and not touching ground; with obvious female urogenital characteristics.
    .................................................................................................HARPPA

    3a. (1b) At least one ear generally erect; without small lesion posterior to left eye; including male and female hippos.
    .................................................................................................Go to 4a

    3b. (3a) Both ears decidedly (markedly) appressed outwardly; with a small lesion (tear) posterior to left eye. [More homely than 8A HIPPA.]
    .................................................................................................HYPPA

    4a. (3a) Both ears generally erect.
    .................................................................................................Go to 5a

    4b. (4a) Left ear bent (rotated) outwardly. [Note: right ear slightly bent outwardly in 7b HARPPER and in 8a HIPPA.]
    .................................................................................................Go to 6a

    5a. (4a) Loose medial thread on upper lip; ears bent slightly forward.
    .................................................................................................HYPPI

    5b. (5a) Upper lip without loose medial thread; ears more perpendicular to plane of forehead.
    .................................................................................................HIPPI

    6a. (4b) Loose medial thread on lower forehead or at the base of left ear.
    .................................................................................................Go to 7a

    6b. (6a) Forehead and base of left ear without loose threads.
    .................................................................................................Go to 8a

    7a. (6a) Base of left ear with loose anterior thread; right ear erect.
    .................................................................................................HIPPER

    7b. (7a) Lower forehead with loose medial thread; right ear with slight outward bend (rotation).
    .................................................................................................HARPPER

    8a. (6b) Female hippo with obvious female urogenital characteristics.
    .................................................................................................HIPPA

    8b. (8a) Male hippos without female urogenital characteristics.
    .................................................................................................Go to 9a

    9a. (8b) Right front leg lame and noticeably bent outward; right nostril asymmetrical, decidedly lower than left nostril; face with general appearance of a slight stroke.
    .................................................................................................HARPPO

    9b. (9a) Right leg not bent outwardly (not lame); face and nostrils symmetrical.
    .................................................................................................HYPPER

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